The Only Flashlight I Could Find Was a Stun Gun
A B+ Power Outage Grade
I consider myself to be a prepared person.
In fact, I’m usually the person most people come to for advice or how to take care of something. I’m prepared and efficient.
I’ve lived alone for a long time. I’ve not just lived alone; I’ve lived alone well.
So, when a storm came rolling through earlier this month, I was surprised it knocked out power. I’m usually aware of this potential. This baby rolled through and erupted in our little valley. Knocking down trees and power to most of our city.
I had just finished working for the night and shut down the laptop to relax. Bam! Off goes everything. It was a little after 8, so still mostly light, but the sun was just starting to set. Unfortunately, the “later” I had told myself I would charge my phone that was now at 32% would not be arriving as soon as I hoped.
I went to grab my flashlight. I have a great flashlight. I call it my “trooper light” because it reminds me of what cops carry when I see them on TV getting pulled over. I also like it because in addition to providing bright light, that thing is a weapon.
I grabbed it and the batteries had failed. Oh no! I grabbed the only other flashlight I had in my house: my stun gun. I chuckled to myself. “This could go pretty badly for me if I hit the wrong button,” I thought to myself, being careful to keep my hands away from both ends.
I walked upstairs and found a power bank with a light, and fought with how to turn on the light there. Apparently, it’s a double-click. I decided I should take a shower. Power wasn’t estimated to be restored until 11pm. I didn’t want to shower that late, so I hung my power bank light and took a shower.
Shit! I better shower fast. I forgot the new hot water heater I had to install now had an electric powered exhaust fan, even though it’s gas powered. The hot water heater won’t work unless the blower is on. This would be all of the hot water I had until power was restored. That still pisses me off. The concern of insulating my basement meant the space was too tight for a simple gas powered hot water heater. I still disagree. Big hot water just wants me reliant on the electric!
After my fast shower with a power bank, I checked my phone. I found my solar powered weather radio, but found I didn’t need to turn it on. My phone worked fine for updates. Including a nice update from my Dad. My parents had no power too. Which didn’t surprise me; they live a street away. After confirming we both were without power, my Dad shared that they were enjoying internet and TV courtesy of their solar generator. He even sent a video. How nice of him!
I was reminded when I was an early teen and we lost power in the middle of the night. It was very dark then. My Dad worked nights and my Mom was alone with us kids. We all woke up wondering what happened. It was pitch dark and I led the way. I’m not sure why everyone else struggled to find their way without light. The house didn’t change. So, I went downstairs first, with my brother holding on to me, my sister onto him, and my mother, the caboose. We went out on the porch, I believe by then we found a flashlight, and we saw our neighbors. We all asked if each other were okay and speculated what happened. I remembered I had my whatever grade standardized achievement tests in the morning. Great night for a power outage!
I snapped back to reality here in 2026. I got this. I’m going to enjoy it. Power outages don’t tend to last long here. It will be good for me to unplug and disconnect. We are surrounded by noise. This will be good for me. I can focus on tasks and thoughts and write things down. So, I went to search for a candle. I thought I bought candles for an effort like this, but I don’t know where they are. Mulled cider candle it is!
So, I sat in my recliner, while the house slowly started to smell more and more like fall, and tried to write. But because I’m a leftie, my own hand cast a giant shadow over the page every time I moved the pen. I couldn’t see.
Fine. It’s 9:13pm. I will just sit there and think. Enjoy the quiet. Focus on something so I’m not checking my phone for an update every second. My battery is limited. I can hear the clicking of the battery powered, analog clocks. Something I don’t hear often. It is loud. Almost deafening. I’m surprised I don’t hear it more often.
I notice the movement of the candlelight.I think, how strange it must have been to live without electricity and have this be a source of light. Then, I think, how much electric do I waste daily? This little candle and nothing else is quite a lot. It’s pretty bright and somewhat comforting.
Then, I decide to look at my phone because it’s surely been almost 30 minutes since I last checked. 9:21pm. It’s been 8 minutes.
I realize, wow this is a memorable evening, if nothing else. I don’t remember Monday night, when everything worked fine, but I remember Tuesday night with the power out. That’s interesting. How a change is memorable. I follow along with everyone else internet-lamenting their lack of power, but also grateful no damage to my house or trees.
And bam! Just like that, the lights come on. Everything roars back to life. I shut things off and set a few clocks. I take a mental note, that didn’t go well. If I were grading myself, I’d give myself a B+. I did okay. I managed. Had my weather radio, stun gun, and power bank, but I am not prepared for a longer power outage. I also need to get batteries in that damn trooper light before I shock myself from that stun gun.